Meet John Bartmann

I was born in the King of All Decades. The 80s.

When I was 6 years old, I started playing the MacGuyver theme on the piano. MacGuyver was my hero. He could do anything. In fact, I thought I was MacGuyver. I once got into an argument for claiming that I knew how to make a hot air balloon with nothing more than a Swiss Army Knife and a bin liner.

Friday night was TV time. Oh boy! I'd race to the carpet in front of the TV to watch Full House and Family Matters as if the plot truly mattered and the characters were all my friends. If you count the 88 keys of a piano as friends, then I had plenty of friends. I also watched every episode of Friends. - John Bartmann

90s Sitcom TV Themes (With Extra Cheese) - Released 2021
Grab your slice of extra cheesy TV music from the 90s! A collection of original intro themes based on the most popular TV sitcoms from the 1990s. Soundalikes for shows like Beverley Hills 90210, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, Baywatch, Family Matters, 3rd Rock From The Sun, Seinfeld, Saved By The Bell, Law and Order, Sister Sister, and Friends. The themes cover a range of genres including uplifting rock, pop, funk, jazz and hip hop. Use these tracks as intro/outro music in podcasts, videos, social media posts and wherever you need a nostalgic 90s feel! - John Bartmann

Western Skies - Released 2021
Traverse the dusty paths on horseback through the vast, wide landscapes of the old country. Raise your eyes to the soaring white clouds in the clear blue sky. Stop in at a roadside saloon until the heat dies down. Western Skies is a collection of license-free film and TV-ready music assets, samples, and loops. Musical moods include quirky bluegrass, timeless country-Western, Native American tribal and the vast heartfelt melodies of wide open spaces. Instrumentation includes acoustic. - John Bartmann

Happy Trappy Positive Urban Beats - Released 2020
A collection of positive and uplifting trap-influenced beats intended for use in fresh and feel-good messaging aimed at teenagers and young adults. The collection feels hopeful, warm, African, energetic and happy. The instrumentation includes ukulele, electronic beats, orchestral sounds and acoustic guitar. - John Bartmann

Underwater Wonders - Released 2019
Peaceful music tracks intended for use alongside footage of underwater diving, scuba diving, sailing, and exploration. The moods are gentle, positive and relaxing and convey a sense of calmness and wonder. This collection is musically similar to artists such as Boards of Canada and Brian Eno. The tracks on this album are also suitable as backing music for productions associated with nature documentary, meditation, yoga, and relaxation. - John Bartmann

Beachy Beatbox Ukulele Music - Released 2020
Beachy Beatbox Ukulele Music is a collection of funny, quirky and summery music tracks intended for use in silly, uplifting productions mainly for children. The moods included in the collection are funny, energetic, positive, and relaxing. The collection is musically similar to artists such as Pentatonix, Terry Scott Taylor and The Flying Pickets. The tracks on this album are also suitable as backing music for productions associated with children's activities, games, and outdoor beach activity.

You see, I have been blessed with an extraordinarily corny view on life. A plains-of-Iowa level of corn and a Swiss level of cheese. It doesn't really matter that I'm an unemployable 40-year-old with no actual career prospects. Because the 90s are trending and life couldn't be radder. So I make 90s sitcom music and Ableton MIDI templates of other retro songs like Ghostbusters because I want everyone to be born in the 80s.

That's it. Now you know the source of my almighty power. I'm lucky. Lucky to have so many people who use my music in their videos. For free. Extremely lucky. Pure luck. The end.

John Bartmann